Approachable Therapy: How Sessions Can Feel More Human
Author: Phoebe Rankin, LCSW
Let’s be honest: therapy can feel intimidating.
A quiet room. Someone staring thoughtfully. Long pauses where you wonder, “Am I supposed to be crying right now?”
If therapy feels like a place where you have to perform emotional intelligence on command, then something’s off. Approachable therapy isn’t about flawless technique or sounding insightful—it’s about helping people feel safe enough to show up as they actually are. Socks on the couch energy. “I don’t know what I’m feeling” energy. “Can I eat a granola bar while we talk?” energy.
Here’s what actually helps therapy feel more approachable:
Safety Is Sensory (Your Nervous System Has Opinions)
Your body decides whether something feels safe before your brain finishes the sentence. That’s why the environment matters—a lot.
For In-person therapy
Comfortable seating (not “medical waiting room chic”)
Warm lighting and minimal clutter
Tissues, water, and visible exits (quietly reassuring)
Asking about preferences for lighting, noise, scents, and textures
Grounding options like blankets, weighted items, stim toys, or movement breaks
For Virtual therapy
A calm, uncluttered background
Camera positioned at eye level (no ominous laptop-on-the-desk angle)
Acknowledging tech awkwardness instead of pretending it isn’t happening
Cameras on, off, or half-on? All valid.
Normalize the Messiness of Being Human
A lot of people worry they’re “doing therapy wrong.” Let’s clear that up.
Therapy doesn’t require knowing what to say.
There is no “right” insight.
Silence isn’t a test.
Confusion is allowed.
Explaining therapy in plain language—what sessions look like, how we work together, what happens if your mind goes completely blank—helps people relax.
Also: therapy jargon is optional. If clinical terms are helpful, great. If not, we’ll use normal human words.
Feedback Is Allowed AND Encouraged
Approachability grows when feedback is welcomed, not feared. Therapy shouldn’t feel like a one-way evaluation.
Feedback goes both directions.
Saying “That didn’t land for me” or “I don’t know what you mean” is always welcome.
Therapists saying: “Let me know if I miss the mark” isn’t a trap—we really want to know!
I’ll reflect your words before paraphrasing, because being accurately heard matters.
If I ask something oddly specific, I’ll name why:
“I’m asking because I’m trying to understand how your nervous system reacts.”
(No unnerving therapist intuition without context.)
Allow Flexibility, Not Forced Focus; Distraction Is Sometimes Regulation
What looks like a distraction is often regulation. You don’t have to sit perfectly still and stare into the void to heal.
Eating and drinking during sessions? Yes.
Fidgeting, doodling, gaming, journaling? Also yes.
Silence? We can hang out there.
Need help with a real-life task like paying a bill or setting up a planner? That counts.
If it helps your body feel safer, it belongs in the room. Therapy doesn’t have to look one specific way to be effective.
You Don’t Have to Perform Here
So let’s say this clearly:
You don’t need to perform emotions.
You don’t need to explain things perfectly.
Monotone, delayed feelings, intellectual processing—totally okay.
Insight doesn’t have to look emotional.
Showing up counts. Even on the days you feel flat, foggy, or “off.”
Masking is not required. Being yourself is enough.
The Bottom Line
Approachable therapy isn’t about doing more—it’s about making space.
Space for snacks. Space for pauses. Space for awkward laughter. Space for not knowing. Space for shared happiness and celebrating every win.
When therapy feels less like a performance and more like a collaborative, human experience, safety grows. And when safety grows, real change has room to happen.
Come as you are. That’s already enough.
If you want to learn more about working with me (hi, I’m Phoebe!) you can read more about me and my work - as well as schedule a call with me - HERE!
