Your Teen Mentioned Suicide: What You Can Do to Help
Hearing your teen express suicidal thoughts can be one of the most terrifying experiences as a parent or caregiver. You may feel paralyzed, flooded with fear, or unsure what to say or do next. At Autonomy Therapy, we work with many families navigating these moments, and we want you to know: you are not alone, and your presence matters infinitely more than your perfection.
First, Let’s Get Clear: Suicidal Thoughts ≠ Failure
Many teens experience suicidal thoughts at some point. These thoughts can stem from depression, bullying, identity struggles, trauma, academic pressure, or a deep sense of disconnection. They don’t mean your teen is “broken,” “dramatic,” or that you’ve done something wrong as a parent. It means they’re in pain and trying to make sense of it the best way they know how.
What To Do When Your Teen Opens Up
Here are a few things that can help create safety and connection:
1. Stay Calm (Even if You’re Freaking Out Inside)
Your teen will take emotional cues from you. You don’t need to pretend it’s not serious—but try to respond with steadiness instead of panic. A calm tone says, “You can trust me with your truth.”
2. Say Thank You
Try:
“I’m so glad you told me. That’s incredibly brave.”
“You don’t have to go through this alone.”
Affirm that they’re not a burden, and that you’re here to help, not judge or punish.
3. Ask Direct Questions, Gently
Asking about suicide does not plant the idea in their head. Try:
“Are you having thoughts of wanting to die or hurt yourself?”
“Have you thought about how or when?”
“How likely do you think you are to follow through on your plans?”
If the answer is yes and there's a clear plan, intent, and means, that’s a psychiatric emergency. Please don’t hesitate to contact a crisis line or seek immediate support.
4. Get Professional Support
A licensed therapist can help your teen unpack what’s underneath their distress and build skills to manage emotional pain. It also gives them someone safe outside of the family system to talk to.
At Autonomy Therapy, we work with teens navigating anxiety, depression, trauma, disordered eating, and more, all in a non-judgmental, validating, and identity-affirming space.
5. Build a Safety Plan Together
Ask what helps them feel safe or grounded. Maybe it’s texting a friend, playing music, journaling, or spending time with a pet. We can help families co-create safety plans that are actually practical and empowering, not punitive or fear-based.
What Not To Say
Even with the best intentions, some responses can accidentally deepen shame. Avoid:
“You’re just being dramatic.”
“You have so much to be grateful for.”
“You’re going to ruin your future.”
Instead, try:
“I’m listening.”
“It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling.”
“We’ll figure this out together.”
Take Care of You, Too
Supporting a teen in crisis can take a toll. You deserve support, space to process, and people who will hold you with care. Therapy, support groups, and trusted friends can make a real difference.
In Crisis? Here's Where to Start
If your teen is at immediate risk:
Call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – 24/7, free, confidential)
Go to your nearest ER or contact your local mobile crisis team
You can also reach out to us at Autonomy Therapy. We’re here to help.
Your presence is powerful.
You don’t need all the answers, just the willingness to show up with love, courage, and curiosity. If you’re looking for a therapist to walk alongside you and your family during this challenging time, you can learn more about our therapists and schedule a free 15-minute consultation call HERE.
